a new thought has entered my mind.. what if the people that i care about the most do not realise it? what if because of time, or distance people take things i say the wrong way, or take me for granted? (or vice-versa) what happens if we are not up front and honest about things and then something tragic happens?
lately, i have been thinking about going home.. people at home.. friends around the world.. and after having a few different conversations, i have thought 'they really dont know me at all, do they?' this is something that keeps happening, and something that terrifies me.
i honestly believe that people are in your life for a reason. i believe that not everyone in your life is going to be a part of it forever. i think that people play a role and have a purpose and once that purpose has been completed, then the friendship tends to fade away; however, i do not mean that the love and caring goes away.. just the strong ties you once had.
i have been extremely lucky. most of my friends i have known for more than 10 years. literally. i have known some of my friends for even longer. God has always blessed me with providing quality people to surround me. the last few years; however, since living mostly outside of the states, i have met many new friends. proving once again that God provides when there is a need. i cannot explain to you how blessed i feel. and i cannot even begin to imagine my life without some of these friendships.
but in the same breath, i know that i will not always have these friendships. i know that people grow up and grow apart. i know that since i have this desire to not live in the states it is going to require more of me and my loved ones to keep our relationships sustained. i know that is a lot of work, i know people get lazy, and i know that sometimes it's just not worth it any more. for whatever reason, people move on with their lives without some of those that they love. and that is ok.
the closer the times comes for me to go home, the more worried i get. i have not been the best about keeping in touch with people. i have tried hard, i think, but i also get the feeling from some that they dont have any idea who i am anymore. i have a feeling that these next few months are going to be ones spent in a lot of transition. i have a feeling that many of those whom i love will start fading away, because the things we used to have in common are no longer there. with that said; however, i never want anyone to question how i feel about them. i cherish my friends more than anything. i tend to be very loyal and even jealously protective at times. most of my friends i consider my family. so by no means do i look forward to this transition.. but i do know that it is inevitable and i know that God will be there, right next to me.. helping me and providing friends when i need them the most.
lately, i have been thinking about going home.. people at home.. friends around the world.. and after having a few different conversations, i have thought 'they really dont know me at all, do they?' this is something that keeps happening, and something that terrifies me.
i honestly believe that people are in your life for a reason. i believe that not everyone in your life is going to be a part of it forever. i think that people play a role and have a purpose and once that purpose has been completed, then the friendship tends to fade away; however, i do not mean that the love and caring goes away.. just the strong ties you once had.
i have been extremely lucky. most of my friends i have known for more than 10 years. literally. i have known some of my friends for even longer. God has always blessed me with providing quality people to surround me. the last few years; however, since living mostly outside of the states, i have met many new friends. proving once again that God provides when there is a need. i cannot explain to you how blessed i feel. and i cannot even begin to imagine my life without some of these friendships.
but in the same breath, i know that i will not always have these friendships. i know that people grow up and grow apart. i know that since i have this desire to not live in the states it is going to require more of me and my loved ones to keep our relationships sustained. i know that is a lot of work, i know people get lazy, and i know that sometimes it's just not worth it any more. for whatever reason, people move on with their lives without some of those that they love. and that is ok.
the closer the times comes for me to go home, the more worried i get. i have not been the best about keeping in touch with people. i have tried hard, i think, but i also get the feeling from some that they dont have any idea who i am anymore. i have a feeling that these next few months are going to be ones spent in a lot of transition. i have a feeling that many of those whom i love will start fading away, because the things we used to have in common are no longer there. with that said; however, i never want anyone to question how i feel about them. i cherish my friends more than anything. i tend to be very loyal and even jealously protective at times. most of my friends i consider my family. so by no means do i look forward to this transition.. but i do know that it is inevitable and i know that God will be there, right next to me.. helping me and providing friends when i need them the most.
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i love you!