I'm not gonna lie, I used to be someone who was very critical of how 'all missionaries' go to Africa. I always thought that there were so many people groups and countries around the world that needed Jesus too! And so I did my best to turn my face toward other nations, mostly in Asia. This was pretty easy to do, especially while living there. I met so many people with a heart for Asia and learned about so many organizations doing amazing things! Not that living in Asia was easy, don't get me wrong, but it became home and I had a deep connection to the place and the people.
When I felt the nudging from God to move on to the next step of life, I felt a little sad. This totally foreign place had finally become comfortable. And it was hard to leave not knowing if I would ever be back.
After my time in Asia was finished, I moved to the UK. Wow. I think back to how shocking that was to my system and I am still thankful for people's grace and love during that time. While attending Bible college in the UK we took a trip to North Africa. This was my first time on African soil and it left a huge imprint.
Because of my previous criticisms I tried my best to not get attached to the continent. I kept telling myself that God had plans for me in Asia not Africa. But I soon found out that God had something bigger planned. While on our trip in North Africa, I felt my heart grow soft for ALL people. I felt convicted of putting one people group or nation above another. God reminded me that he loves everyone. Period. And my heart should also reflect this.
So, out came this creation...
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| This is an actual flower that I dried in my journal from my time in North Africa. |
I was reading and praying through Psalm 24 that day and that is what I ended up writing around the flower. I had the revelation that Africa is beautiful, just like all of God's creation. It was a life-changing moment. It seems so simple, but to finally let go of those criticisms really freed me to allow God to work more in my heart and mind.
That was 5 years ago.
Fast forward a few years and I was back on African soil. This time I was way down south. My experiences in Africa this time around also impacted me greatly. I absolutely fell in love. (in more than 1 way!) Again, don't get me wrong, it wasn't always easy and I wasn't always happy. But God softened my heart again and showed me more of his love for ALL people.
At the end of my time in Africa, there were some things that I was ready to enjoy back in America (hot showers, soft beds and western toilets!) but I found that there were many more things that I was going to miss. It was then that I realized that I had a change of heart. My heart didn't yearn for Asia like it used to, it longed for the red dirt.
A bittersweet side note: I have had the opportunity to travel back to Asia, because of my job. Going back for the work trip was like visiting home. I enjoyed the familiarity of the place, but found myself excited to leave. My heart was different. And even though God has opened my eyes and softened my heart to love ALL people, I knew that my time in Asia is over. And I found comfort in that question being answered.
And so today, I look forward to God continuing to soften my heart towards his people and his creation. I feel thankful that he is a gracious teacher and loves me more than I deserve. And of course, I look forward to the day when my husband and I go back to Africa.
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| At church in Mozambique, we invited these girls after doing street ministry where we washed their feet and painted their nails. They are so beautiful and it was an honor to spend time with them. |
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