Looking back at 2010 has been a good exercise for me. It's nice to gain new perspectives by reflecting on the past. It's also good to take that information and to look ahead to the coming year and see if there are any similar themes shining through.
Overall 2010 was a great year. I was blessed to be able to travel and see lots of friends and family. I was blessed with one job starting right after one job ended. I was blessed with vehicle situations working out rather smoothly and by the fact that my parents still allowed me to live at home. It was a tough year in some respects, though, with the loss of two grandparents and general loneliness. However, I also got to welcome life into the world with close friends. Looking back, I can see that 2010 was a year of growth. It was a year of transition. A year of waiting. I can't sit here and say that I've grown exponentially in one particular area or that I had some huge revelation about something; however, I can say that God was in the midst of every decision, in every joy and in every sorrow.
As I look ahead, I wonder what's next. I wonder if it will be a similar year of catching up with long-lost friends and family. I wonder if there will be more waiting. I enter 2011 with great anticipation. I expect things to happen this year. I expect change. I expect God to speak about this year and what sorts of things he has planned. I expect it to be another difficult year. I expect life to continue to fly by at a rapid speed. I expect more loss, but more joys. More laughs and more tears. I expect to have an acute sense of wonder when looking ahead and preparing for what lies next. It's quite exciting, really!
It seems that the big talk around this time every year has to do with New Years Resolutions. I'm not necessarily one to make resolutions, mostly cuz I feel like each day is a new opportunity to make different decisions or to have a second chance. Plus I feel like more people make resolutions just so that they can break them before the end of January anyways. So, I haven't really made any.
However, I have already felt like this year, for me, is going to be about relationships. My relationship with God and my relationships with friends. Life is all about relationships; they're important and they are to be handled with care. So in response to this, I have decided to drop Facebook for awhile. As some of you are well aware, Facebook and I have a love/hate relationship. It's SO convenient for me to use it to keep in touch with all of the people who don't live in the States; however, I have no discipline with it and end up wasting more time on it than actually using it to stay connected with people. I struggle with the surface-y relationships on it and wonder sometimes if people I'm 'friends' with on Facebook, are people that perhaps aren't meant to be with me during the current season I'm in. Facebook makes me feel way too curious about other people's lives, it spurs on negative feelings about others and about myself. It's a place where I can sit and compare my life to others, either filling me with pride or shame. It's just not a good thing for me. So, for the time being, I'm done. I don't want to say this is a 'New Years Resolution' because if I get to a place where I think I'm mature enough to log back in and join the whole social networking thing, I will. However, I don't see that happening very soon.
I think this year is also going to be an explorative year. Both physically and mentally. In the past, I have been known to search. However, I've given up the searching to realize that what I was looking for all along was God, who was with me no matter where I was. And that what I was searching for really had to be found within (which sounds so cheese-y to say, but nonetheless). I had to really come to grips with the fact that I wasn't going to find the perfect place to live where I would feel whole. I had to realise that I have to learn to be content wherever I am and that my only wholeness would only be found in Christ. It's been quite a journey, but that search is over. Not that I've 'arrived', but I'm definitely in a better head space about the whole thing. So, I say explorative and I mean about the future. I have a unique opportunity right now to be preparing for what's next. To network with people, to seek out opportunities and to really ask God how I should be spending my time. I say this lightly, though, fully knowing that I'm not going to be given an arrow with a neon sign saying 'this way'... however, I do know that I need to be more actively seeking and pursuing my future. I'm not entirely sure what this is going to practically look like for this year, but that's on the agenda.
Keep watching this space! I do hope to write more this year and to take more photos... It's going to be an exciting year, no matter what happens.
Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!"
-John 14:6-7 MSG
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