...or the lack thereof.
one of the only things i remember from the film "the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" is the phrase, "Don't Panic!" i dont even remember what it was that they werent supposed to be panicking about. but whenever i start to feel that uneasiness rise up from my stomach into my throat, i think back to those two words.
before my rant i would like to say that i do believe that God has a plan for this next step in my life. i know that he planned for me to come back to the states. i know that he planned for me to have the job that im currently in and i know that he will continue to plan my steps. i honestly believe this.
my issue is knowing how this looks practically. what is it that i need to be doing? i realize that a job is not going to just fall out of the sky and land at my feet, so what's my role in this? how can i stay submitted to God and fully trust him, yet not be foolish and expect a job to just appear? would a job just appear if i let it? is this another lesson of control and my desire to control my plans? if i know that God directs my steps, do i just wait on him to speak?
it's yet another season of people asking me, "so what's next?" and another season of me saying, "i dont know!" *sigh* i am just feeling sorry for myself because i am living my life differently than a lot of people im surrounded by. so naturally, i feel like im doing something wrong.
i sometimes feel like i have it all wrong, yet i trust that God cares so much that he leads my every step. i do often wish for a users' manual to life, but then quickly toss the thought aside because life wouldnt be nearly as alive or exciting.
maybe im just tired of transition. each year for the past however many years, i've transitioned. i've moved. i've started a new job. i've made new friends. i've attended a new church. i've traveled to new places. i've lived in different homes. i've experienced different cultures. maybe im longing for stability. maybe im wanting familiarity for awhile. the funny thing in saying that- is that i'd get bored. my whole life has been one transition after the next, even before i ever left the states. so my question is, how is God going to use that? how are all of this transitions going to work out in my future? will my life be a constant transition? or will the next 10 years look differently?
all that to say, im not panicking and im quite content. surprisingly, so much peace comes with just handing it all over to God. i am thankful for that.
psalm 37:23-24
the lord directs the steps of the godly. he delights in every detail of their lives. though they stumble, they will never fall, for the lord holds them by the hand.
one of the only things i remember from the film "the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" is the phrase, "Don't Panic!" i dont even remember what it was that they werent supposed to be panicking about. but whenever i start to feel that uneasiness rise up from my stomach into my throat, i think back to those two words.
before my rant i would like to say that i do believe that God has a plan for this next step in my life. i know that he planned for me to come back to the states. i know that he planned for me to have the job that im currently in and i know that he will continue to plan my steps. i honestly believe this.
my issue is knowing how this looks practically. what is it that i need to be doing? i realize that a job is not going to just fall out of the sky and land at my feet, so what's my role in this? how can i stay submitted to God and fully trust him, yet not be foolish and expect a job to just appear? would a job just appear if i let it? is this another lesson of control and my desire to control my plans? if i know that God directs my steps, do i just wait on him to speak?
it's yet another season of people asking me, "so what's next?" and another season of me saying, "i dont know!" *sigh* i am just feeling sorry for myself because i am living my life differently than a lot of people im surrounded by. so naturally, i feel like im doing something wrong.
i sometimes feel like i have it all wrong, yet i trust that God cares so much that he leads my every step. i do often wish for a users' manual to life, but then quickly toss the thought aside because life wouldnt be nearly as alive or exciting.
maybe im just tired of transition. each year for the past however many years, i've transitioned. i've moved. i've started a new job. i've made new friends. i've attended a new church. i've traveled to new places. i've lived in different homes. i've experienced different cultures. maybe im longing for stability. maybe im wanting familiarity for awhile. the funny thing in saying that- is that i'd get bored. my whole life has been one transition after the next, even before i ever left the states. so my question is, how is God going to use that? how are all of this transitions going to work out in my future? will my life be a constant transition? or will the next 10 years look differently?
all that to say, im not panicking and im quite content. surprisingly, so much peace comes with just handing it all over to God. i am thankful for that.
psalm 37:23-24
the lord directs the steps of the godly. he delights in every detail of their lives. though they stumble, they will never fall, for the lord holds them by the hand.
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