so, i have been home for eleven days now. it feels like i have been home for months. and i dont mean that in a bad way, it's just how i feel. some days i feel like i have never left, other days i am acutely aware of the fact that i have been absent from this country for so long.
it's been entertaining seeing people for the first time in such a long time. especially because most of the people i have seen are people who really only know me through my parents, and all they know of my life is that i havent been living in the states for the past few years. i feel sorry for my mom, because the questions i get asked the most are "when are you leaving?", "where are you going next?" "how long are you home for?" "when do you go back to korea?"
i have definitely gotten a lot of support for leaving the country again. there are only a couple people in my family that are strongly opposed to me leaving again.. one because of political reasons and the other because of more emotional reasons. both of which i understand, and respect. it just hard, because i am living my life for God.. and the older i get, the more i realise i am not meant to be living in the states right now.
after going to a new church on sunday i found myself sunday night writing about the experience. i stumbled upon an old bulletin from my church in korea. the sermon was about living for God, and the pastor asked the question, "what would you do with your life if you knew you couldnt fail?" he went on to explain that whatever our answer to that question is.. that is probably a good indication as to what God wants us to do with our lives. he also went on to explain that whatever God's purpose is for your life that you cannot accomplish it without Him.
it's just really been pressing my heart this week. thinking about what i would do with myself if i knew i would be successful. where would i go? what would i do? i wish i had answers to those questions. i think i have an idea.. but it is also hard, because it does involve living overseas and not seeing my family very often. i know that i am supposed to be living my life for God, but where does your family play in to that? i want to respect my parents and their opinions, but how far should that respect stretch? especially when they have issues with supporting your decisions...
this has just been on my mind this week... i pray that God will continue to lead me and help me and my family during this time while decisions are going to be made.
it's been entertaining seeing people for the first time in such a long time. especially because most of the people i have seen are people who really only know me through my parents, and all they know of my life is that i havent been living in the states for the past few years. i feel sorry for my mom, because the questions i get asked the most are "when are you leaving?", "where are you going next?" "how long are you home for?" "when do you go back to korea?"
i have definitely gotten a lot of support for leaving the country again. there are only a couple people in my family that are strongly opposed to me leaving again.. one because of political reasons and the other because of more emotional reasons. both of which i understand, and respect. it just hard, because i am living my life for God.. and the older i get, the more i realise i am not meant to be living in the states right now.
after going to a new church on sunday i found myself sunday night writing about the experience. i stumbled upon an old bulletin from my church in korea. the sermon was about living for God, and the pastor asked the question, "what would you do with your life if you knew you couldnt fail?" he went on to explain that whatever our answer to that question is.. that is probably a good indication as to what God wants us to do with our lives. he also went on to explain that whatever God's purpose is for your life that you cannot accomplish it without Him.
it's just really been pressing my heart this week. thinking about what i would do with myself if i knew i would be successful. where would i go? what would i do? i wish i had answers to those questions. i think i have an idea.. but it is also hard, because it does involve living overseas and not seeing my family very often. i know that i am supposed to be living my life for God, but where does your family play in to that? i want to respect my parents and their opinions, but how far should that respect stretch? especially when they have issues with supporting your decisions...
this has just been on my mind this week... i pray that God will continue to lead me and help me and my family during this time while decisions are going to be made.
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