i find that holidays, such as new years eve, are a good time to look back and reflect, before moving forward. it's an easy way to catalog memories from years before; to think back to where you were the new years eve before or the one 5 years ago. i always have fun looking back cuz i've brought in the new year in some incredible places! this year i found myself in mexico with my family. it was a relaxed evening, which i'm finding is much more appealing now-a-days than getting all dolled up to go out for NYE. is that part of getting older? or is that me just changing my ways?
at any rate, mexico was a good time for me to sit back and relax. it was awesome to be with my family in a place that they consider their second home. we had never been there together, so it was nice to catch a glimpse into their lives 'down south of the border'. the sun and warm weather also made it nice. for me, relaxing and vacation equal beautiful water, a beach, lots of sunshine and a good book. and that is exactly what mexico was for me. i found myself relaxed, which was surprising since i'm in the midst of a transition. but by the grace of God, i was able to allow my mind and body to rest. to relax. to be. why is that so hard for us sometimes?
now that i'm back, i find myself rested; however the stillness of my mind is gone. i am constantly making lists or texting notes to myself. i feel like i have a lot of things going on all at once and i don't want to forget anything. i haven't really felt this way since i was in college. i used to find that the busier i was, the better that i did in school. i didn't have a choice, i had to be focused and manage my time well because i didn't have loads of it. i'm finding myself in a similar situation now and while it feels familiar, it also feels foreign. i don't have good grades or a diploma to strive for now... it's life. it's a new step. it's a transition into what's next. so i'm trying to learn a balance of keeping my mind still and at ease, like how it was when i was in mexico, but also capitalizing on the fact that i tend to be more productive when time's running out and it's go time.
while i'm excited to move forward, it's always hard to end things in the place you've been living. this transition time has been unlike the others, though. it's been slower, not as rushed. i feel like i have time to sit down with people and properly end things well. and this move is different. it's only to another town in indiana. it's not across the globe! so while i wont be down the road anymore, i will still be close enough to drive to. another similarity to college. it's funny how you have parallels like that throughout your life.
at any rate, i just wanted to sit down a chronicle the beginning of 2012. while i have NO IDEA what is in store for me this year, i know that it will be a year unlike any other. i find that thought both exhilarating and terrifying! i am ready to embark on this new journey and to see where it takes me. i am expectant for my life to be changed as well as others that i come across. and while i acknowledge that this year will have its challenges, just like every year does, i'm not afraid of them. they will not scare me or discourage me from moving forward! here's to a new year, full of possibilities and hope!
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