this blog has reached the 200th post mark. i had no idea when i started this blog how it would end up. it's been a nice chronicle of the past few years of my life. i especially like looking back at photos from different seasons of my life. it is always nice to be able to tangibly look to the past to see how things have changed.
it's been strange cuz i feel like this is something God's speaking to me about. he continually brings up the past. in the past year, i have had to really learn what it means to live presently and how to let go of past situations, relationships and lessons. i have been told numerous times how the past is important, because of what it taught you. i have always found this hard to understand, though. how do you remember the past, yet not dwell in it?
on a bit of a different note, i have been realising how so much of my past has shaped me. and even in those times when i thought i was stagnant or i was rejecting whatever situation i was in; it was infact shaping me. my most recent situation, i think, has been bible college. there were some weeks that i would try my hardest not to engage cuz i was tired or afraid. but looking back, i know God got to me. he shaped me, even in my doubt or fear. i cant run from God.
just this week i opened my journal for the first time in almost 3 weeks. i wrote the words: it's hard to face myself with a pen and paper on some days. i cant run from myself either.
my thoughts are a bit scattered and so i havent quite been able to tie these things together, but i know eventually things will align. i think im reaching the point of my transition of life post-bible college, where im trying to sort through what happened this past year. it's as if i have all this knowledge crammed in my head and no way to really sort through it. and obviously im changed because of that knowledge, but i dont always know how to act. it seems like my body has finally gotten out of the limbo stage, but my mind is still there. how long will it stay there?
on a positive note, God's speaking. a lot. i learn each week about how to listen better and discern the information. i am grateful for a living, speaking God.
to end:
Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20 NLT
it's been strange cuz i feel like this is something God's speaking to me about. he continually brings up the past. in the past year, i have had to really learn what it means to live presently and how to let go of past situations, relationships and lessons. i have been told numerous times how the past is important, because of what it taught you. i have always found this hard to understand, though. how do you remember the past, yet not dwell in it?
on a bit of a different note, i have been realising how so much of my past has shaped me. and even in those times when i thought i was stagnant or i was rejecting whatever situation i was in; it was infact shaping me. my most recent situation, i think, has been bible college. there were some weeks that i would try my hardest not to engage cuz i was tired or afraid. but looking back, i know God got to me. he shaped me, even in my doubt or fear. i cant run from God.
just this week i opened my journal for the first time in almost 3 weeks. i wrote the words: it's hard to face myself with a pen and paper on some days. i cant run from myself either.
my thoughts are a bit scattered and so i havent quite been able to tie these things together, but i know eventually things will align. i think im reaching the point of my transition of life post-bible college, where im trying to sort through what happened this past year. it's as if i have all this knowledge crammed in my head and no way to really sort through it. and obviously im changed because of that knowledge, but i dont always know how to act. it seems like my body has finally gotten out of the limbo stage, but my mind is still there. how long will it stay there?
on a positive note, God's speaking. a lot. i learn each week about how to listen better and discern the information. i am grateful for a living, speaking God.
to end:
Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20 NLT
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