lessons

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
-Luke 14.11

I've found myself in this place of busy-ness. It's been a time of too many plans and not enough time to truly sit down and ponder what's going on around me. I feel like I've barely had time to process what happens in my daily life, let alone the decisions I'm facing about my future.

I have applied for a Bible College in Oxford, England. I've thought a lot about Bible College being a step in my life, it was just determining WHEN. A couple months ago I really felt God was calling me to move. After much prayer and many conversations, I decided the time was now. It's exciting, yet scary. God's timing is something I have a hard time grasping. I have my own ideas about when I want things to happen and how I want things to go, but sometimes that doesn't line up with what God wants. I always end up thanking Him for His wisdom, because He truly does know best. Sometimes I just have issues trusting in that.

The past two weeks have brought me a lot of struggles. I've found myself having to defend my faith to others, being a spiritual leader to others and having very black and white opinions about things that I would have considered more grey.

God's doing a lot in my life right now. In many ways, these past two weeks have shown me how important it is that I have a solid foundation of truth. A constant prayer is that I'm going down God's path and I feel like He's showing me that Bible college is the next step for me. He's showing me that it's time to move on from Korea and to take things to the next level. He wants me to be challenged. I think I could be challenged in some good ways in Korea, but I think that my growth period in Korea is over. Korea's been so good for my faith and for my relationship with God and I think it could continue to grow; however, I think God's ready to stretch me in ways that I haven't even thought of yet!

A HUGE lesson I'm learning is humility. I've found that God is reminding me that He's in control, not me. He's showing me that His plan may not be the same as I think it should be. He's showing me that I NEED Him. I also think I'm getting taught the importance of daily time with the Lord. He's making me crave His time and attention. He's asking me to stop wasting time on the Internet and spend that time with Him. He's asking me to wake up earlier in the day to spend time with Him. I feel like I'm in a strange place, one that's new for me. It's been a struggle. I have this motherly instinct, especially with people whom I love. I want the best for them, I want them to know Jesus personally and I want them to live in His freedom and joy. What I'm being reminded is that ultimately God's in control. He uses people in so many different ways with so many different circumstances and even though I may not understand it right now, He's got a plan. I'm just being reminded that He's stronger than I'll ever be and what's important is that I love people for who they are, no matter the situation or circumstance.

The good news is that I've mostly kept my good attitude through it all. I have some amazing people to listen to me, pray for me and just encourage me through these times. I hope to be able to take more time and reflect upon my current condition. With that, I'm hoping that I will keep better tabs on this blog and write more often. Especially with updates as to where my life's going for this next year... and for my last few months in Korea!